I first met her at a hand-lettering class I taught in the small village we both now call home. She’s quiet, tenderhearted, smart and creative – and she has a story that she’s learning to tell with more courage and confidence as she steps out of the shadows and into the light.
Meet Brenda…
What’s your story, morning glory?
While I grew up in a loving home in rural Michigan, I struggled with being bullied in both Middle and High School.
The bullying caused me to slip into a dark and lonely place, urging me to end the pain by taking my own life. School finally got better during my junior and senior years, and I was proud of myself for sticking through it. But my dad then took his own life just months before I graduated. It wrecked me. I couldn’t believe that he would just leave us like that.
I started to believe that there couldn’t be a God. How could He allow these situations in my life?
What did you discover about yourself during this time?
I realized that people bullied me due to their own lack of self-confidence, including some jealousy. I also discovered that I am strong and that I can make it through anything.
I was strong in school and continued to get good grades, despite what was swirling around me. I was even able to be strong for my mom after my dad took his life.
What did you discover about God’s character in the process?
As I mentioned, I had doubts that God was with me. I prayed every night that God would stop the bullies, but they continued to behave badly. Then I doubted that God was with my dad when he took his life.
Twenty five years have passed and I have survived. I know now that God guided me each day. As I look back, my life had many twists and turns, but God was with me, leading me each time I got off track. He led me to my wonderful husband and gave me two beautiful girls.
How did this experience shape your passion today?
I am passionate about sharing my story now. In the past, I felt embarrassed that I allowed someone to bully me and embarrassed to tell the new people I met that my dad took his own life. I felt people would judge me and perceive me differently.
If you could sum up your story in a single sentence, what would it be?
The tragic times you go through will make you a stronger person and a stronger believer.
What would I say to a woman facing the same struggle?
Any teen who is being bullied needs to know that, while it feels unbearable, it is only temporary. High school is only a short period of your life. Stay strong and be yourself!
Also, anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide needs to know that each day gets better. Surround yourself with loved ones, talk about it and cry, cry, cry. You’ll feel better to let it out. People who commit suicide are depressed and have a chemical imbalance, none of it is your fault. Remember the good times you had with that person, and spread suicide & mental illness awareness throughout your community. Maybe you could even help save a life.
What does the word “patience” mean to you and what does it look like in your everyday life?
Patience is one word I have to repeat to myself on a daily basis. Patience reminds me that God is in control and that everything is done in His time.
What role has mentorship played in your life?
I feel everyone needs a mentor. There was a teacher in school who I’d say was my mentor. If it weren’t for her, I’m not sure where I’d be today.
It’s great to even have a mentor in my 40’s. I can trust that one person in my life to bounce ideas off of and be able to accept the good criticism I hear from her.
What are two things you are loving right now?
Two things I’m loving right now is www.canva.com. I’m amazed of what it can do to help create unique Facebook posts and advertising for my interior design business, Lilac Roots LLC.
I am also enjoying the book Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. It is very motivational.
Where can we find you online?
You can find me on Facebook at lilacrootsdesign.
You will also be able to read more of my story when my book, Lilac Roots, comes out later this year. Stay tuned to my Facebook page for more information.
