When I joined the Influence Network last year, this lovely young lady stood out to me immediately. Her quiet confidence and gracious leadership were disarming and refreshing. And her Instagram feed is totally drool worthy.
A wife, teacher & passionate foodie, I had the honor of squeezing her in the flesh for the first time last month at our local Influence meet-up.
Meet Ali…
What’s your story, morning glory?
Several years ago, I found myself stuck in the destructive trap of comparison–competing with friends, colleagues, and even strangers on the Internet. I never measured up, always fell short, and wanted to be someone different. I compared my looks, my timeline, and my possessions to everyone else. Through this journey, God has led me to freedom from the pressures and expectations of others and of myself. He continues to show me that He has given me–and everyone–a specific and beautiful life to live.
What did you discover about yourself?
I used to find my identity in the wrong things, like outward beauty, my weight, and materialism. I now find my identity in Jesus, and trust Him with my story.
What did you discover about God’s character in the process?
God is the maker of everything and everyone, and He creates beauty. God created His people on purpose, and He loves His beautiful creation. We are beautiful because God made us. We have purpose because God made us.
What helped you or served you most practically in this season?
The first step that helped me was confession to God. He then gave me strength to confess my struggles with comparison to trusted family and friends. I also found it helpful to read God’s Word and speak Truth to myself, see the best in others and in myself, and seek to seize each season.
I wish I had been more open to my friends and family sooner, because I lived in a season of defeat for so long and no one knew.
How did this experience effect or shape your passion today?
I feel like it made me a better friend by giving me courage to initiate hard conversations and lead the way for others to open up about their struggles. It also led me to start a blog, shaping my online mission to encourage others in their seasons of comparison with authenticity and grace.
How did it impact or clarify your ultimate mission?
I want to help others experience the kind of freedom I found
If you could sum up your story in a single sentence, what would it be?
Let’s live our stories with bravery, authenticity, and gratitude.
What would you say to a woman facing the same fight?
You are enough. You are beautiful. And you have an incredible story. You are not alone. You might feel like you are, but if you can find the courage to see the beauty that God has created in you, and to be vulnerable with a safe friend, you can break free from the bondage of comparison. Healing does not take place in the dark; it takes place in the light, in community.
Is there a favorite quote or scripture you have clung to?
“It’s so easy to take our eyes off our path to check what others are doing and if they’re ahead or behind us. Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared. Without comparison, words like: ahead or behind or best or worst lose their meaning.” Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” Proverbs 29:25 MSG
What does the word “bravery” mean to you, and what does it look like in your everyday life?
Bravery means leaning fearlessly and fully into the person God has made me, and living the story He has called me to live. When I feel tempted to compare my timeline, looks, or possessions to others, bravery means trusting and seeking Him above all, and praising Him for the life He has given me and for the person He has created me to be.
What role has mentorship played in your life, and what impact has it had on you?
In my current season of life, I have been blessed with time to mentor a few young wives, and have been able to share my story of comparison and how it was destructive to my marriage.
What are 2 things you’re loving right now?
I love Alba Botanica lavender sunscreen and the Day One journal app.
Thank you, Ali! If you’re online, where’s the best place for us to find you?
I blog at aliwren.com. I love Instagram and can be found on Facebook and twitter. My e-book, #InstaEnvy, can be found in the Kindle Store for $0.99.
