We sat around the flawlessly set table on white leather chairs, and between sips of coffee and bites of chocolate mousse from little silver spoons, she spilled her heart; “he’s so capable, he knows what he’s doing…he’s just so hard on himself. I know he would do an amazing job – he’s got everything it takes – I just wish he would do it”.
“Is he a perfectionist?”, I probed. She didn’t miss a beat. “Oh yeah!”.
“Which means”, I continued, mounting my soapbox, “that he’s also an excellent procrastinator, right? Because the two go hand-in-hand. If it can’t be perfect, or success isn’t guaranteed, it simply doesn’t happen”.
I heard my own story in his as she continued to lament his lack of action, and I hear it almost every single day from insanely passionate, incredibly gifted people who are battling the paralyzing effects of perfectionism.
The names and circumstances change, but the story is the same:
“I really want to [insert dream here], but I just don’t
…feel ready
…know enough
…think I can pull it off
…have time
We make excuses and weave elaborate responses to why we’re not actively pursuing that thing that burns in our souls, but the bottom line is: we’re scared.
We’re scared of failure, we’re afraid of rejection, we’re not a fan of looking like a fool, and we’re utterly terrified that by making a bold move before everything is perfectly in place and floundering, we’ll simply reinforce what we quietly believe about ourselves: that we don’t have what it takes.
That somehow, deep down, we’re not enough.
Or worse yet, we’re inherently broken and incapable of fulfilling what we long to do.
So we stuff it. We delay it. We try to numb the ache for more by filling our schedules to the brim, attempting to go about our busy lives while dragging an unsung song in our souls.
But the ache doesn’t go away, we just get good at plugging our ears and pretending it’s not there. The dream doesn’t die, it just lies dormant, waiting for us to act on it. It leaves us restless, gnawing at our resistance, begging us to be brave.
It continues to nip at our heels and tug at our heart, reminding us that there’s more to life than predictable outcomes, comfort zones, and the risk-averse existence we cling to.
And that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be effective and influential and good.
Why, it doesn’t even have to be completely understood and put together before we take our first courageous step towards it. Crazy, I know! But if we wait until we’re completely, totally, 100% ready and confident…we’ll never do it.
We’ll never start that new business.
We’ll never write that raw blog post or publish that first book.
We’ll never launch that podcast.
We’ll never entertain the possibility of loving – and being loved – again.
We’ll never start a family.
We’ll never invite people into our imperfect home for an imperfect meal and imperfect fellowship.
We’ll never start that non-profit.
We’ll never invent that new gadget or find that cure.
We’ll never write that poem or pen that song or paint that picture.
We’ll never fully live the life we were created to.
Because here’s the deal: all the good, big, brave stuff we’re aching to experience….is outside of our comfort zones. There is no blue-print, no short-cut, and no guarantee of success.
It’s going to be messy and hard, we’re going to have to learn how to dance with failure, and we’re going to feel unsure of what’s next.
This is a hope-laced truth of life; that it is both good and uncertain, worthwhile and scary, sacred and messy, glorious and gritty.
And I am learning, as a recovering people-pleasing, control-freakish, perfectionistic-procrastinator, that stepping into the life we were created to live takes wild courage, massive amounts of resilience, extravagant grace and bold faith, and that if I’m willing to step out and be brave – even when I don’t’ feel ready or capable – that God will meet me in that space.
And that will be enough.
So that thing that’s burning in your heart, that is bubbling in your spirit and keeping you up at night…? Go do it.
Get out of your comfort zone and start moving toward it. Stop waiting and do something.
Take the first step, allow momentum to build, and course-correct as you go. You cannot, after all, steer a parked car.
If you wait until every little thing is in place, you’ll take that dream to the grave with you and rob the world of something you were born to bring forth.
The cure for the paralysis of perfectionism is imperfect action.
Nothing silences fear like action.
Not because you won’t ever feel afraid, but because the joy of movement and the thrill of momentum will sing louder than fear could ever scream.
What are you going to do with what God deposited in you? This month, this week, today?
The world is waiting, friend.
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
[ Howard Thurman ]
Maybe you can relate to allowing perfectionism to feed procrastination. To allowing fear of failure to silence your passion and cripple your purpose.
Let’s change that. Let’s say no to staying huddled in our comfort zones and yes to living life fully alive.
Want to dig deeper into what it is that sets your soul on fire and learn how to press into it?
Pick up a copy of my new book, Penduka: 21 Ways to Awaken Passion & Purpose in Everyday Life
