It happens every time I tell the story.
I’m right there. In the muck, in the shame. In the hopelessness.
I can feel the grip of self-loathing tighten around my throat. My heartbeat quickens as the fear of exposure whispers; You are such a mess. You are worthless. You’re finished.
It’s just for a second. But it’s there. So much raw emotion in such a small window of time.
But then the next chapter of the story. And the next. And my heart races wildly, not because of fear and pain and hatred.
But because of life and love and redemption.
And wild hope.
As the words emerge, I can taste it…the sweetness of the story.
This great God I’d heard about all my life stepped into my shattered life and lovingly started putting the pieces back together. Tenderly, patiently, tangibly. Relentlessly loving me back to wholeness.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”
Romans 8:28
I love the story.
Not because of how bad I was. But because of how good He is.
Not because of how weak I was. But because of how strong He is.
But what if you’re still there? Paralyzed by the dark hour?
Stuck and afraid and wounded?
It’s easy to stand on this side of the battle, the sweet taste of a victory still on the tongue, and declare, “it’s all going to be alright!”. But when you’re in the thick of the war, hands bloodied and heart ravaged, those words offer no solace. No peace amidst the storm.
So how do we press on, holding fast to hope, when the scent of decay hangs thickly in the air? When quoting “this too shall pass” doesn’t ease the ache?
We cling.
We cling to a God who is big enough to clean up our most extravagant screw-ups.
We cling to a hope that doesn’t change like the shifting of seasons. Of hormones. Of bank accounts or relationships.
We cling to a plan for our lives – and a purpose for our pain.. One that we may not yet be able to identify…but that isn’t dependent on our ability to see it.
We cling to joy that is not circumstantial. That isn’t manufactured by our surroundings, or found in our wavering occupations or unstable relationships, but that bubbles up from somewhere deep within.
We cling to the knowledge that this untamed, unpredictable Creator works all things – all things – for our good.
Yes, even that. Even this.
And in that place, we cling to the knowledge that if it isn’t yet good, then it isn’t yet over.
For in the end – on the other side of this battle – you will look back and see it. The beauty. The purpose. The good.
You will see His fingerprints.
You will see the gold mined out of the dirt. The statue chipped out of the rock.
You will find that your pain has given birth to beauty, and that your life’s darkest chapters are laced with hope. With redemption.
And then you’ll link arms with another, one still fighting her battle, and whisper, “cling”.
And you’ll remind her that in the end, it’ll all be worth it.
And in this way we’ll do life, sweet sisters…wildly, bravely together.
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[This design was originally inspired and created for a cousin whose precious friend, Nicky, is battling cancer]
*As always, please note that this is exclusively for personal use and is NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes. Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.
