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When You Feel Like A Train Wreck {Hope For The Weary Mom}

To the mom who is weary and overwhelmed, painfully aware of her short fuse and tired of the sound of her own voice…

I get it.

I’ve become really good at saying, “I’m sorry” since becoming a mom.

Learn to embrace grace.  This is one of the most important things you can model for your children.

 

To the mom who looks at her post-baby body in the mirror and wonders, “will I ever be content with this new shape I’ve acquired?” – which, due to our complete lack of filter in private, usually sounds a little more like, “what the hell happened to you?”.

I feel you.

I long to embrace {all} this skin that I’m in.

Be kind to yourself.  Choosing not to focus on your misplaced libido and renovated wrapper, chances are good that you actually helped create those little creatures that call you “mom” – stunning miracle-worker that you are – and your body has served its purpose well.  If you were talking to your daughter – choosing your words wisely, being careful to speak tender truth – how might you speak differently about that powerful body?

 

To the mom who had no idea parenting would be this.freaking.hard…

I hear you.

But had I truly grasped that these would be the hardest years of my life, I cowardly may not have wanted in.

It is in the fire that gold is refined, and it is through sleepless nights, leaky boobs and tantrum endurance that a resilient, grace-drenched mother {also known as a Jedi-Mind-Reading-Warrior-Princess} is forged.

But it requires total surrender.  Utter dependence on Him.  And more vulnerability than you ever thought possible.

 

Trainwreck 1

To the mom who struggles with making the right choice for her family…

Go with your gut.  Then let it go.

Breast or bottle.  To vaccinate or not.  Public or homeschool.  To work or stay-at-home.  The decisions that set us apart are endless. But apart is not the goal.

We are blessed with the freedom to choose what is best for our family, but our choices are intended to enhance our families…not cause division in our friendships.  Bid the Mommy Mafia farewell and get off the finger-pointing bandwagon.  When we stop focusing on what sets us apart, we can focus on what unites us : love.

Repeat after me : it’s not wrong, it’s just different.

When we stop judging others, it frees us up to enjoy the path we have chosen.

 

To the mom who feels a little piece of her soul dies every time she has to scrape another shredded Kleenex from the inside of the washing machine drum…

Dude, I know.

The ever-present moat of boy-pee that sits around the base of our toilet, or the colony of dust bunnies and their homies that live in that annoying little space between the washer and dryer.  Or that buffet of wreckage that boasts a variety of week old left-overs where our counter stools meet the kitchen floor.  Yeah, that.  I get it.

Life is messy.  And life with little children is disgusting.  Perfectionists refuse to believe this and fight it with everything in them. I know because I am one.  But one day we will miss their dirty little socks strewn across the floor and the sticky signs of family life on the windows.  Someday.  Not today.  But someday.

 

To the mom who feels empty, who has nothing left to give, and yet aches with the knowledge that there is still so much more to do…to give…to be…

I ache with you.

I was an excellent mother before I had kids.  I had so many dreams and visions for how this gig would go.  Such high expectations for how I would patiently, graciously, selflessly raise them.  And oh, how often I fail them.  Or rather, myself.  Their expectations of me are far more practical and realistic than my own.

Just keep showing up, sweet momma.

Press in.  Press on.  Know that you were created for such a time as this, intentionally crafted with the gifts and passions and strengths you possess, and equipped with everything you will ever need to raise the children you have been given.

Trainwreck 3

To the mom who never feels she is good enough and, without even realizing it, compares herself to every other “good” mother/wife/woman she knows.  Pinterest is your nemesis.  A constant reminder of where you don’t excel.

I’m with you.

No matter what I do, there will always be someone who does it better…and I have yet to ditch the measuring stick and actively practice the fine art of celebrating my strengths and focusing, not on what I don’t have, but rather on all God has blessed me with {quirks and all}.

Stop comparing yourself.  Comparison will kill contentment.  Every.single.time.

 

To the mom who wonders who she truly is these days…

I’ve wondered too.

I’ve wrestled with jealousy over my husband’s “alone time” {which is really just “not at home” time}, craving space to simply be me, to rediscover who I am apart from my role as “wife” and “mom”.  To get reacquainted with the old girl inside me, amidst the clamor of this new world outside of me.  I have wanted to lock myself in the closet and stick forks in my eardrums when the incessant bickering has reached its crescendo, to silence the chaos and escape motherhood, just for a moment.

The old is gone.  But I can confidently say…I would never want her back.  The lessons I have learned, the selfishness that has been uprooted, the sharp edges that have softened, the grace that has emerged in the face of discomfort, the ability to laugh in the face of resistance…these are all side-effects of brokenness.  Of rebuilding.  Of daily living out “wife” and “mom”.

 

Trainwreck 2

To the mom who feels like a train wreck…

I have felt it too.

More often than I would care to admit.  And if we were all a little more real with each other, we’d realize we’re less alone than we feel.

But here’s the thing…our words have incredible power.  In the same way creation was spoken into existence with words, we create realities with our declarations.  That very same authority lives within us, in fact the bible says we have the power of life and death in our tongues.

How often I have carelessly spoken death over myself.

“I’m such a mess”…“I’m a pathetic wife”…”my kids are going to need therapy”.

“I am a train wreck!”.

Enough.  No more.

Isn’t it time we fleshed out what we hope to cultivate in our kids?

The ability to spread hope…breathe encouragement…speak LIFE.

 

“I am outrageously loved by a faithful God who has good plans for my life”. 

“I am imperfect and in-progress…and that’s right where I need to be to know grace”.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made…purposefully crafted with my strengths and weaknesses”

“I can do this!  I may totally botch it on days, and fumble my way through, but I was made for this!”

 

As Denis Waitley so aptly stated…

“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”

Start embracing grace.

Kick that endless, empty pursuit of perfection to the curb.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

And by all means, speak life…over yourself, your children, your husband, and every other weary momma in need of a hope infusion.  Our words are more powerful than we will ever realize.

GRACE-quotes-5x7

You can download your free printable right here

{this is formatted on a single 8.5 x 11 page, so you’ll get both 5 x 7 designs in one}

galatians-6-9

Life is messy, friend.

More important than the fact that your train derails on occasion, is the knowledge that we are faced with multiple opportunities to develop the humility and perseverance it takes to graciously track back up again.

So rock on, momma!

Own your imperfection and revel in the extravagant grace that is yours for the taking.

*As always, please note that this is exclusively for personal use and is NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes.  Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.

Related posts:

  1. Ramblings of a Sappy Mom
  2. Confessions of a {Crabby} Mom
  3. Revisiting the Ramblings of a Sappy Mom
  4. Letting Go of Super-Mom
«
»

Daily Life, Family, Grace, Keepin' it Real, Motherhood, Printables, Quotes and Scriptures, The Kiddos

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Simply Bloom exists to empower women to embrace their stories, live out their passion with purpose, and leave a legacy of love.
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Hello there! I'm Joy. Speaker, designer, author & coach, and creator of the #weROARproject. Welcome to Simply Bloom Co., where passion & purpose collide.

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What if grace has been waiting for you where perfe What if grace has been waiting for you
where perfection never could take you?

This week on Oh, Good Grief, we wrap up our exploration of the 9 Enneagram types, and how each one engages grief, with Type One: The Reformer.

We'll explore the gift of integrity, the burden of the inner critic, and the freedom that comes when we stop striving to earn what God has already given.

The Enneagram may reveal the stories we've believed to survive.
But only grace tells us who we've been all along.

🎧 Episode 038 is available wherever you listen to podcasts.
From the front, our little apple tree is living he From the front, our little apple tree is living her best life: laden with fruit and bursting with life.

But that’s only half the story.

Take a walk around the backside and you’ll see something entirely different: a large branch, nearly a third of the tree, black and barren. Clearly diseased. Clearly dead. Clearly in need of pruning.

And yet, every time I walk past it on our evening loop around the campground behind our house, it catches me off guard. I forget it’s even there.

Maybe because I prefer to look at the fruitful side.

And isn’t that a little like us?

We’re pretty comfortable displaying the beautiful parts: the wins, the answered prayers, the accomplishments, the parts of life that look healthy and fruitful.

The broken parts? The grief. The struggling relationships. The things we’ve neglected. The places where we’re tired or hurting or simply not okay?

Those we tend to tuck around the backside, hoping no one notices.

But here’s the thing: what we hide still needs tending.

We don’t have to be ashamed of the barren branches. We don’t have to pretend they aren’t there. And we certainly don’t have to wait until everything looks beautiful before we allow ourselves to be honest.

Maybe growth does look like good fruit.

And maybe sometimes it looks like finally walking around back, taking an honest look, and saying, That needs to go.

Pruning isn’t failure.
It’s making room for what’s still alive.

And if you’ve got a few dead branches of your own right now, take heart. You are not the barren branch. You are the whole tree. 🌿

#SimplyBloomCo
If you are a Nine, my prayer is that you would nev If you are a Nine, my prayer is that you would never lose your gift of bringing calm, compassion, and steadiness into a fractured world.

Those are beautiful reflections of the heart of Christ.

But may you also discover that your voice is not an interruption, your needs are not an inconvenience, and your presence is not optional. May you become the kind of peacemaker who tells the truth with love, receives love without shrinking, and lives fully awake to the life God has entrusted to you.

May you know, deep in your soul, that you don't have to disappear to belong.
What if the peace you've been protecting has come What if the peace you've been protecting
has come at the cost of your own presence?

This week on Oh, Good Grief, we're exploring Enneagram Nine: The Peacemaker.

Nines have an incredible gift for helping others feel safe, seen, and understood.
But somewhere along the way, many learned that staying connected meant staying quiet.

What if healing isn't about becoming louder?
What if it's about believing your voice already belongs in the room?

🎧 Episode 037 is available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Permission Granted. In case you needed someone t Permission Granted. 

In case you needed someone to tell you: yes, you should absolutely make the impromptu stop at the roadside farm stand and buy the $5 bouquet of flowers.

No, you do not need a reason.

No, you do not need to be buying them for someone else (although that is a perfectly lovely thing to do, too).

Buy them for yourself.
Put them in your kitchen.
Smile every time you walk past them. 🌸

And support your local flower growers and farm stands while you’re at it.

That is all.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled scrolling.
If you are an Eight, my prayer is that you would n If you are an Eight, my prayer is that you would
never lose your fierce love for justice, your courage,
or your willingness to protect those who cannot protect themselves. 

Those are holy gifts.

But may you also discover the freedom of being protected yourself.
May you find people with whom you no longer need armor. And may you know, deep in your bones, that the God who fights for you is inviting you to rest...
not because you're weak, but because you were never meant to carry every battle alone.
The year we moved into this house, a peach tree sp The year we moved into this house, a peach tree spoiled us thoroughly. It produced more peaches than we knew what to do with—cobbler, galette, crumble, smoothies, fruit leathers, and basket loads given away.

Our expectations for peach season were high.

Turns out, that tree was throwing itself a retirement party.
It died the following year.

We’ve since planted two more. The one that has always been unproductive surprised us this summer with these gorgeous, generous peaches. The healthy, established tree that usually produces? One. Single. Peach.

Fruit-bearing is an interesting thing.
Unpredictable. Relatively unmanageable.
Sometimes delicious and sometimes disappointing.

And maybe that’s why I love the reminder it offers:
performance isn’t always a good indicator
of what’s happening beneath the surface.

Take heart, dear one.

Some seasons, you’ll crush the to-do list,
accomplish the goals and have plenty to show for yourself.

Other seasons, you’ll simply keep showing up.
Quietly. Consistently. Faithfully.

And that is enough, too. 🌱
What if your greatest strength was never meant to What if your greatest strength
was never meant to become a hiding place?

This week on Oh, Good Grief, we're continuing in our Summer Enneagram Series by exploring the Type Eight: The Challenger.

Many Eights learned early that strength was safer than vulnerability.
But what if healing isn't about becoming less strong?

What if it's about discovering that courage
and tenderness were never meant to compete?

God isn't asking you to lay down your strength.
He's inviting you to lay down the armor you no longer need.

🎧 Episode 036 is available wherever you listen to podcasts.
If you identify with the Enneagram 7, my prayer fo If you identify with the Enneagram 7, my prayer
for you is that you would never lose your capacity
for wonder, laughter, creativity, and hope.

Those are sacred gifts.

But may you also discover the freedom of staying present
when life feels heavy. May you trust that joy does not disappear
when sorrow arrives. May you find that God is not only present
in the moments of celebration, but also in the quiet,
painful places you once tried to avoid.

The One who created your joy can also hold your grief.

You are loved.
Follow @SimplyBloomJoy

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