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When You Feel Like A Train Wreck {Hope For The Weary Mom}

To the mom who is weary and overwhelmed, painfully aware of her short fuse and tired of the sound of her own voice…

I get it.

I’ve become really good at saying, “I’m sorry” since becoming a mom.

Learn to embrace grace.  This is one of the most important things you can model for your children.

 

To the mom who looks at her post-baby body in the mirror and wonders, “will I ever be content with this new shape I’ve acquired?” – which, due to our complete lack of filter in private, usually sounds a little more like, “what the hell happened to you?”.

I feel you.

I long to embrace {all} this skin that I’m in.

Be kind to yourself.  Choosing not to focus on your misplaced libido and renovated wrapper, chances are good that you actually helped create those little creatures that call you “mom” – stunning miracle-worker that you are – and your body has served its purpose well.  If you were talking to your daughter – choosing your words wisely, being careful to speak tender truth – how might you speak differently about that powerful body?

 

To the mom who had no idea parenting would be this.freaking.hard…

I hear you.

But had I truly grasped that these would be the hardest years of my life, I cowardly may not have wanted in.

It is in the fire that gold is refined, and it is through sleepless nights, leaky boobs and tantrum endurance that a resilient, grace-drenched mother {also known as a Jedi-Mind-Reading-Warrior-Princess} is forged.

But it requires total surrender.  Utter dependence on Him.  And more vulnerability than you ever thought possible.

 

Trainwreck 1

To the mom who struggles with making the right choice for her family…

Go with your gut.  Then let it go.

Breast or bottle.  To vaccinate or not.  Public or homeschool.  To work or stay-at-home.  The decisions that set us apart are endless. But apart is not the goal.

We are blessed with the freedom to choose what is best for our family, but our choices are intended to enhance our families…not cause division in our friendships.  Bid the Mommy Mafia farewell and get off the finger-pointing bandwagon.  When we stop focusing on what sets us apart, we can focus on what unites us : love.

Repeat after me : it’s not wrong, it’s just different.

When we stop judging others, it frees us up to enjoy the path we have chosen.

 

To the mom who feels a little piece of her soul dies every time she has to scrape another shredded Kleenex from the inside of the washing machine drum…

Dude, I know.

The ever-present moat of boy-pee that sits around the base of our toilet, or the colony of dust bunnies and their homies that live in that annoying little space between the washer and dryer.  Or that buffet of wreckage that boasts a variety of week old left-overs where our counter stools meet the kitchen floor.  Yeah, that.  I get it.

Life is messy.  And life with little children is disgusting.  Perfectionists refuse to believe this and fight it with everything in them. I know because I am one.  But one day we will miss their dirty little socks strewn across the floor and the sticky signs of family life on the windows.  Someday.  Not today.  But someday.

 

To the mom who feels empty, who has nothing left to give, and yet aches with the knowledge that there is still so much more to do…to give…to be…

I ache with you.

I was an excellent mother before I had kids.  I had so many dreams and visions for how this gig would go.  Such high expectations for how I would patiently, graciously, selflessly raise them.  And oh, how often I fail them.  Or rather, myself.  Their expectations of me are far more practical and realistic than my own.

Just keep showing up, sweet momma.

Press in.  Press on.  Know that you were created for such a time as this, intentionally crafted with the gifts and passions and strengths you possess, and equipped with everything you will ever need to raise the children you have been given.

Trainwreck 3

To the mom who never feels she is good enough and, without even realizing it, compares herself to every other “good” mother/wife/woman she knows.  Pinterest is your nemesis.  A constant reminder of where you don’t excel.

I’m with you.

No matter what I do, there will always be someone who does it better…and I have yet to ditch the measuring stick and actively practice the fine art of celebrating my strengths and focusing, not on what I don’t have, but rather on all God has blessed me with {quirks and all}.

Stop comparing yourself.  Comparison will kill contentment.  Every.single.time.

 

To the mom who wonders who she truly is these days…

I’ve wondered too.

I’ve wrestled with jealousy over my husband’s “alone time” {which is really just “not at home” time}, craving space to simply be me, to rediscover who I am apart from my role as “wife” and “mom”.  To get reacquainted with the old girl inside me, amidst the clamor of this new world outside of me.  I have wanted to lock myself in the closet and stick forks in my eardrums when the incessant bickering has reached its crescendo, to silence the chaos and escape motherhood, just for a moment.

The old is gone.  But I can confidently say…I would never want her back.  The lessons I have learned, the selfishness that has been uprooted, the sharp edges that have softened, the grace that has emerged in the face of discomfort, the ability to laugh in the face of resistance…these are all side-effects of brokenness.  Of rebuilding.  Of daily living out “wife” and “mom”.

 

Trainwreck 2

To the mom who feels like a train wreck…

I have felt it too.

More often than I would care to admit.  And if we were all a little more real with each other, we’d realize we’re less alone than we feel.

But here’s the thing…our words have incredible power.  In the same way creation was spoken into existence with words, we create realities with our declarations.  That very same authority lives within us, in fact the bible says we have the power of life and death in our tongues.

How often I have carelessly spoken death over myself.

“I’m such a mess”…“I’m a pathetic wife”…”my kids are going to need therapy”.

“I am a train wreck!”.

Enough.  No more.

Isn’t it time we fleshed out what we hope to cultivate in our kids?

The ability to spread hope…breathe encouragement…speak LIFE.

 

“I am outrageously loved by a faithful God who has good plans for my life”. 

“I am imperfect and in-progress…and that’s right where I need to be to know grace”.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made…purposefully crafted with my strengths and weaknesses”

“I can do this!  I may totally botch it on days, and fumble my way through, but I was made for this!”

 

As Denis Waitley so aptly stated…

“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”

Start embracing grace.

Kick that endless, empty pursuit of perfection to the curb.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

And by all means, speak life…over yourself, your children, your husband, and every other weary momma in need of a hope infusion.  Our words are more powerful than we will ever realize.

GRACE-quotes-5x7

You can download your free printable right here

{this is formatted on a single 8.5 x 11 page, so you’ll get both 5 x 7 designs in one}

galatians-6-9

Life is messy, friend.

More important than the fact that your train derails on occasion, is the knowledge that we are faced with multiple opportunities to develop the humility and perseverance it takes to graciously track back up again.

So rock on, momma!

Own your imperfection and revel in the extravagant grace that is yours for the taking.

*As always, please note that this is exclusively for personal use and is NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes.  Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.

Related posts:

  1. Ramblings of a Sappy Mom
  2. Confessions of a {Crabby} Mom
  3. Revisiting the Ramblings of a Sappy Mom
  4. Letting Go of Super-Mom
«
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Daily Life, Family, Grace, Keepin' it Real, Motherhood, Printables, Quotes and Scriptures, The Kiddos

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Simply Bloom exists to empower women to embrace their stories, live out their passion with purpose, and leave a legacy of love.
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Hello there! I'm Joy. Speaker, designer, author & coach, and creator of the #weROARproject. Welcome to Simply Bloom Co., where passion & purpose collide.

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I am regularly overwhelmed by the kindness of God I am regularly overwhelmed by the 
kindness of God in the small + simple.

Things like twinkle lights + Christmas jazz,
scraping out the peanut butter fudge pot
all by myself while sitting on the counter,
and walking around the corner to find my
loin fruit snuggled up together over tea.

They may fight like cats + dogs at times,
but their bond is deep and true and sweet.
Happy release day, @dralisoncook 💛 Written at Happy release day, @dralisoncook 💛

Written at the intersection 
of faith and psychology, 
this book is yet another 
soul-nourishing,
heart-healing, 
boundary-fortifying 
gift from Alison Cook
(if you’ve had a heart-to-heart
with me in the past two years,
you know how much I loved 
‘Boundaries for the Soul’). 

As an enneagram 2 who was raised 
in the church, this book was a timely
and liberating read. Pure balm for the 
weary, recovering-people-pleaser soul. 

I am beyond grateful for the wisdom, 
compassion + experience that Alison 
brings to all she shares (and it was
such an honor to be on her launch 
team for this beautiful new book).

Need a survival guide for your growth
and healing journey? Here you go! ✌🏼

#thebestofyou #thebestofyoubook #womenoffaith #healthyboundaries #healthyyou #healingjourney
Find yourself a tribe of people who will, togethe Find yourself a tribe of people who will, 
together, spend a beautiful Saturday
morning pulling this workout off:

• 20 mile run
• 340 tire flips
• 2,000 air squats
• 1,000 pull ups
• 1,500 box jumps
• 2,200 pull ups
• 600 devil press
• 3,300 sit ups

Brutal. Amazing. 
Exhausted.
So grateful for these two - their friendship, enco So grateful for these two - their friendship,
encouragement and wise counsel over the
past decade of being our pastoral couple
has been such a gift to our family 💛

Congrats on your retirement, dear friends!!
“Over the years, I have come to realize that t “Over the years, 
I have come to realize that 
the greatest trap in our life is not 
success, popularity, or power, 
but self-rejection.”
 :: Henri Nouwen

Somewhere along the journey of 
life, we start to believe the lie that - 
despite being made in the very image 
of a good and beautiful God - who we 
are is inherently bad and broken, and 
we learn to cover that deep sense 
of inadequacy (and the shame that 
accompanies it) with performance.

Because our visceral 
human response to 
‘bad + broken’ is 
‘reject + conceal’.

We think it’s the rejection of others
that cuts us to the core, but the truth
is…most of us walk around wounded 
by a constant and unrelenting sense 
of self-rejection and self-loathing.

Want to know why we feverishly seek 
out the approval and validation of others?
Why we desperately want others to like us?

Because we’re out of touch with our
inherent value and worth, and we’re
not sure that we even like ourselves.

We resent our weakness,
and abandon ourselves.

/ / /

But this good + beautiful God of ours…
He is drawn to our weakness like a
moth to a flame, swooping in to
bring strength and grace.

Paul writes in Corinthians 12:9 that 
he learned to delight in his weakness 
because it was when he was week that
“His strength is perfected in me”. 

Or, as the Passion Translation so 
stunningly puts it, “my weakness 
becomes a portal to God’s power”.

Precious ones, we can shun our tender
still-in-process places, pretend to have 
it all together, and hustle for our worth…
OR we can drop the masks, offer kindness 
and curiosity to our hurting, broken parts,
and learn to live fully seen and known.

But we can’t have both.

And yes, it’s scary.

Today may we choose
…grace over perfectionism
…curiosity over shame
…acceptance over rejection
…gentleness over judgement
…wholeness over pretense

You are loved.
And they’re off! Alathea is in 10th grade and A And they’re off!

Alathea is in 10th grade and
Aiden is heading into 8th grade.

Here’s to a year full of grace,
discovery, friendship + growth 🙌🏼
"Faith isn't the ability to believe long + far i "Faith isn't the ability 
to believe long + far 
into the misty future. 
It's simply taking God 
at His Word + taking 
the next step."

:: Joni Eareckson Tada
Day 15 | Beach Day + Travel Prep We fly out late Day 15 | Beach Day + Travel Prep

We fly out late tomorrow evening so today
has been a lazy day of laundry, laying in the
sun, a petshop visit (where Aiden fell in love 
with a cute rat + I discovered zebra finches), 
an impromptu stop for bubble tea + stuffed crepes [oh my word, were these delicious!!],
shopping [I found the best, comfiest - Joe
would argue ‘ugliest’ - romper at the thrift
store that I can’t wait to wear on our long
journey home], and Aiden is currently off
doing his thing: fishing right from the pier.
Our view from the lodge last night ✨ Our view from the lodge last night ✨
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