I had become an expert secret keeper.  I’d been swept up so fast, and so young, in a whirlwind of self-destructive behavior that the only way to keep breathing was to keep pretending everything was alright.

And so I built walls of deception and lies in a desperate effort to keep the world from seeing the real me.

The sad, ugly, insecure, used-up, whored-out me.

But when the façade I’d erected to protect the tender underbelly of my existence started to crumble, I had a choice to make.

…Keep stuffing away the unsightly baggage I’d dragged around with me for years, or give it up.

…Keep carrying the shame that had flavored my identity for so long, or exchange it for grace.

…Keep hiding the secrets of who I once was, or offer them as a sacrifice to the only One who could create anything beautiful from the mess I’d made of my life.

In the early hours of that dreadful, glorious morning, I chose surrender.

I chose to look long and hard at the crumpled charade that had become my reality, and claim it – no longer as my identity – but as a chapter in the narrative of my life.

I chose redemption without even realizing it had already chosen me.

And while it took many long years to heal my banged-up heart and distorted self-image (and I’m far from finished), it’s been a journey I have not once regretted taking.

God has been so kind to me as I’ve bravely, and oh so vulnerably, put my hand in His and inched my way forward, eventually stepping up to share my story with the big, sometimes scary, world.

It’s my story.

of how His goodness triumphs over our badness.

…of how redemption is never beyond our reach.  And that it’s ours by no merit of our own.

And of how love does in fact cover over a multitude of sins.

Oh, how faithfully He draws us near to His heart the moment we turn toward Him.  Even slightly.

So really, it’s His story.

While writing my book this Spring, I knew I needed to weave in my personal journey.  The good, the bad, and the downright uncomfortable.

Not so you would know how truly awful I really was,

but so you’d be reminded of how truly wonderful He is.

I sent a copy of my book to Sheila Wray Gregoire, and she was moved so deeply by my story that she asked to share it on her blog. in a two-part series.

=>  Here are the links to my story : Part 1 and Part 2  <=

If you’ve struggled under the weight of shame and sexual baggage, or know someone who has, please share this post with them.  How life-giving it is to know we’re not alone in our pain and brokenness.

There is hope.  And freedom.  And sweet, sweet redemption.

You can download this beautiful gray scale 8 x 10 printable right here,

or grab the color version here,

then share it with a friend who needs to be reminded who she is, and whose she is.

Click here to purchase XES and read the rest of the story {or if you’ve already read it, leave a review}

*As always, please note that printables are exclusively for personal use and are NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes.  Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.