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Doing {Messy} Life Together {plus “Unglued” Printable}

My hubby and I are blessed to lead a small group of fantastic couples at our church.  And we are one deliciously mixed bag of people, let me tell you.  We have working moms, stay-at-home moms, working dads, stay-at-home dads, our professions cover all the bases from teacher and nurse to engineer and officer, we have a 1-child-and-we’re-done! family, and a 3-kids-and-we’re-eager-to-grow family…and everything in between.

We belly-laugh together, ugly-cry together, pray together, dissect scripture together, and walk through world-rocking tragedies together.

Today, one of our precious couples will bury their beautiful baby girl.  This is their third loss.

Which just confirms what I always knew…life was never intended to be lived out alone.

And because life was created to be spent together – the good, the bad, and the tragic – this is just one of the heart-breaking experiences we’ve walked through together as a group.

We are one motley crew of hilarious, transparent, Jesus-adoring peeps who love each other to pieces, who aren’t afraid of being painfully real, and who manage to throw together a killer meal every time we gather.

This, my friends, is what “church” looks like.

Life; raw and unfiltered, sweet and sour, embraced and squeezed dry.

If there’s one thing I could not live without, other than tea and date night, it’s friends.

Because we can’t get enough of each other and meet only every other week…we 9780310332794_p0_v1_s260x420decided to meet on the “off” weeks as guys and girls.  So the hubbies meet one “off” week, and the gals meet the other.  This has taken the intimacy and soul-safety of our small group to a whole new level.

While the guys gather at the local brewery and talk Jesus, man-stuff and beer, we’ve decided to work our way through a book by Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, and it’s been just what the doctor ordered.

It deals so beautifully and practically with the way we process our wild and hairy emotions, offering simple ideas and methods of processing and delivering them in an honoring, relationship-enhancing way.

After all, God has given us so many examples and principles in the bible to glean from.  One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Peter 1:3-8 which says…

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.   In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I’ve had many “ah-ha!” moments between the pages of Lysa’s book.

And because I’m visual, I need reminders.  Everywhere.  Enter: scripture cards and a cheat sheet!

While I put these cards together mostly for myself and our girl’s group, I figured I’d make them available to you too…as it’s definitely a book worth reading, and a ‘procedure manual’ worth working into your life.

“The one who holds their tongue is the one who holds the power”  Lysa TerKeurst

When uncomfortable, blood-pressure-raising circumstances roll our way…before responding…work through these steps:

1.  Remember who you are: the way you respond, or react, will always be an overflow of how you see yourself – who you are, and whose you are.

2.  Redirect your focus to Jesus: don’t let trials and tribulations pull our eyes off of the only One who truly matters and who can direct your path (pray, pray, pray!)

3.  Recognize God’s job isn’t your job: it’s not our job to fix or control others, it’s our job to be obedient, loving and self-controlled in our response to adversity.  Remember, life is 10% what we encounter, and 90% how we handle it!

4.  Recite thanks and praises to God: cultivating an attitude of gratitude in the midst of discomfort always has a way of changing our hearts and energizing our weary hearts.

5.  Realize reactions determine reach: we can make or break relationships by how we handle unexpected set-backs.  With every negative encounter comes the opportunity to grow personally.

When we tackle the issue, rather than the person, we give God room to do His thing…to refine and mature us, while honoring and esteeming the other person.  He also happens to have a way of redeeming seemingly hopeless situations.

It’s a win-win.

Seeing God is far more concerned with our character than our comfort, we are guaranteed prickly relationships and encounters in this life.  Next time you’re facing one, and battling raw emotion…before you come unglued, try working through this biblical procedure manual:

Unglued Printables

*Get your procedure manual cheat-sheet & scripture verse printables right here.

*As always, please note that this is exclusively for personal use and is NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes.  Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.

Related posts:

  1. Life is Beautiful {Printable}
  2. The Camper Life For Us {Free Printable}
  3. On Being Rooted: Confessions of an Approval Addict {plus Free Printable}
  4. Processing Life.
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Designs, Faith, Grace, Printables, Quotes and Scriptures

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Simply Bloom exists to empower women to embrace their stories, live out their passion with purpose, and leave a legacy of love.
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Hello there! I'm Joy. Speaker, designer, author & coach, and creator of the #weROARproject. Welcome to Simply Bloom Co., where passion & purpose collide.

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May you remember that God is not only the God of d May you remember that God is not only
the God of destinations, but of detours.

When life takes you somewhere you never intended to go,
may you recognize that you have not been forgotten.

May you have eyes to see the people in front of you,
hands willing to gather the sticks,
courage to shake off the snakes,
a heart willing to welcome and be welcomed,
and faith to believe that even here,
especially here, God is at work.
What if the place you keep calling a detour is act What if the place you keep calling a detour is actually part of the story?

Paul was headed to Rome. Instead, he ended up shipwrecked on Malta.
It wasn't the destination. But it mattered.

A reminder for all of us: don't waste the waiting,
the detour, or the place you didn't choose.

🎙️ 042 | Make Malta Matter | Finding Purpose in Divine Detours
  The latest Oh, Good Grief Podcast episode is out now.

#OhGoodGriefPodcast #MakeMaltaMatter #SimplyBloomCo
Instagram post 17924817765424628 Instagram post 17924817765424628
What if the years you thought were wasted… weren't What if the years you thought were wasted…
weren't wasted at all?

In Part 2 of my conversation with Leah Harvey,
we go deeper into what it means to trust
God when the outcome is still unknown.

Leah has spent years carrying the ache of infertility,
and she doesn't offer a tidy answer or a spiritual shortcut.

Instead, she talks about restoration.
About eternity.
About choosing Jesus over her preference.
About looking for treasure in the middle of the story.

And about the surprising realization that there
may not have been wasted years after all,
because God was present in every one of them.

He is.
Even here.
Even now.

🎧 Part Two with Leah Harvey is live now.

#OhGoodGriefPodcast #StruggleWell #StayRooted #SojournTogether
Instagram post 18091972097640684 Instagram post 18091972097640684
What if trusting that God is good doesn't mean bel What if trusting that God is good doesn't mean
believing He will give us everything we ask for?

That's one of the questions my friend Leah Harvey
and I wrestle with in this week's episode.

Leah and her hubby, Jake, have walked through years
of infertility and the kind of unanswered prayer that
doesn't just hurt once—it asks you to keep
trusting God over and over again.

We talk about grief, surrender, the questions we sometimes feel afraid to ask, and what happens when we stop trying to put tidy answers over messy pain.

This is a tender conversation about choosing Jesus over our preferences, embracing the mystery of God, and learning to believe that His goodness doesn't depend on whether He gives us the thing we're asking for.

Part One of my conversation with Leah Harvey is live now
🎧  040 | The Goodness of God in the Waiting

#OhGoodGriefPodcast #StruggleWell #StayRooted #SojournTogether
Before the world told you who you needed to become Before the world told you who you needed to become...
Before fear taught you how to survive...
Before shame convinced you to hide...
God looked at you and called you His own.

Not because you had healed.
Not because you had figured yourself out.
Not because you had become your best self.
Simply because you were His.

You are still becoming.
And you are already loved.

Keep coming home.

#OhGoodGriefPodcast #SimplyBloomCo
What if the goal isn't to become a different type, What if the goal isn't to become a different type,
but to become more fully yourself?

We've spent the last several weeks exploring the Enneagram:
our gifts, wounds, coping strategies, and the stories we
learned to believe in order to survive.

Now it's time to come home.

Episode 039 closes this Summer Series by asking
what happens when self-awareness becomes surrender.

The Enneagram can help us understand our patterns.
But it was never meant to become our identity.

You are not your number.
You are not your trauma.
You are not your coping strategy.

You are a beloved child of God.

🎧 Oh, Good Grief — Episode 039 is available now.
Sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee, m Sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee, my Bible and a book of maps in my lap, and the sun on my face, has me thinking about how strange and beautiful life can be.

It’s no small honor to be given the opportunity to preach at our church from time to time. Had you told the broken, shoplifting, lying, giving-her-body-away-for-free teenage girl I once was that one day she’d stand in a pulpit and talk to people about God’s goodness and grace, I would have laughed at you.

But maybe that’s exactly why God delights in using the messy, the unlikely, the misfits. Because these are the stories that make His redemption impossible to miss.

One of my favorite lines from The Chosen, spoken by Mary Magdalene, sums it up perfectly: “I was one way, and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.”

That’s my story, too.
And if I were to hazard a guess, it's yours as well.

It’s one of my greatest joys to dig into God’s Word, share what He’s laid on my heart, offer some encouragement and conviction, confess the uncomfortable things, and ultimately point people back to Jesus.

Because there’s no denying the extraordinary power of redemption when you’ve lived it yourself.
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