Alternately entitled: “Can I Get a Sick Day All Up in Here?”
My kiddos are sick.
And their {poor, exhausted, mucous-streaked} momma is sick too.
It ain’t pretty.
The past 2 days have consisted of more snot than you could ever imagine wiping from 4 rosy little nostrils, less sleep than any human being should be required to function on, and more whining than you could ever bear to listen to without the consequential smashing of china.
And then there was vomit.
Out of sheer desperation, in my {tearful} attempt to get some much needed shut-eye after both kids boycotted naptime yesterday {what? I thought you needed more sleep when you’re sick?!?}, I barricaded the 3 of us in my daughters room and, covering the floor with pillows and blankets, proceeded to fall asleep in the middle of the madness.
Between getting stepped on, drooled on and whacked in the head repeatedly, I’m sure I got a refreshing 5.8 minutes of sleep. Broken up into 4 second intervals. It was smashing.
I was then violated by a spider. Yup…just when I thought “my day can’t possibly feel any less enjoyable”…a furry little beast drops from the ceiling, onto my shoulder, and wastes no time seeking refuge between “the girls”.
Holy mother of pearl. As if “losing” said girls to 4 wonderful years of pregnancy-and-nursing-fluctuation {and eventual deflation} isn’t traumatic enough, having an arachnid disappear between them could just send me over the edge.
But wait…there is a glimmer of hope. She comes in the form of a large hot mug of caffeinated goodness.
And right there, amidst the whirlwind of partially-used tissues, nasal aspirators and mismatched sippy cups {and after a glorious 1.5 hour nap}…I have a second wind.
I decide to go big and expend it doing a handstand against our van {during the 45 minutes I spent outside with the kids today in my valiant effort to say, “yes, yes, of course we’ve left the house in the past 2 days”}.
Apparently my brain malfunctions when I’m not well.
I threw my back out against the front hood of our sexy minivan. It wasn’t sexy. The kids weren’t even impressed with my gymnastic prowess. I did get a sympathy back-rub and lots of kisses out of my sweet girl, though.
What a {painful} waste of my 2 minute energy burst.
{So very thankful we don’t have neighbors near enough to have experienced the mortifying, and deeply disturbing, scene that went down in our driveway this afternoon}
We’ve bonded extensively with our television today. I have hated the idea of TV, monthly Satellite dish payments and DVR considerably less these past two days. In fact, I think I owe my last shred of sanity to it’s existence in our home. Thank you “Word World”. I love you.
And now it’s that time again.
That beautiful period of time when my bed beckons me to lay my weary head upon it’s flannel fluffiness, and yet…my snot-encrusted self knows that for the third night in a row, the sweetness of sleep will not be experienced fully. If at all.
And then it hits me. We have Benadryl in the cupboard.
Merciful God. We will live to see another day.
The end.
Ps. {Because everyone needs to smile on a sick day} for your viewing pleasure, I present: Bug. In all his glory. How ‘bout dem apples?
