I met this delightfully feisty human through my best friend when we were all in the throes of raising our toddlers, and just couldn’t get enough of her. Needless to say, we grabbed her and roped her into a best-friend-triad, and continue to adore her socks off.
She’s absolutely hilarious, so incredibly genuine, as gifted as all get-out, and has a knack for making you feel seen and sane when you fear you might come apart at the seams.
Wife to her stud and momma to their three sweet girls, this woman can weave words, rock red hair, and connect with hearts across the globe like nobody’s business.
Meet Bethany…
WHAT’S YOUR STORY, MORNING GLORY?
Just hours after our first daughter was born, it slowly started to sink in that I had just signed up for a life that would take far more than it would give- and I was not enough. In one fell swoop I completely lost the freedom to decide when I would eat, shower, sleep or think (can I get an amen?!) My husband and I look back on those first years with 3 babes 3 and under, and high five that we made it out alive. Becoming a momma (and the sleep deprivation) made it more difficult to hide my deep sense of inadequacy. I daily wrestled with feeling like I was not enough for my children- that my failures and sins would hurt them more than my wisdom and love would help them.
Just when I started to catch my breath, we did something crazy (umm… I mean…super spiritual.) With 3 daughters 5 years old and under, a few suitcases and all my own baggage in tow, we uprooted our happy family tree and set out for South Asia. The uprooting process hurt more than I ever imagined it would. For us, living and loving cross-culturally has allowed us the holy, painful privilege of being uprooted, pruned (stripped is more accurate) and replanted.
Before we moved, I begged and prayed that Papa would allow us to step into our calling in South Asia. And from the moment we set foot here, I have screamed at Him and questioned His plan and asked to be released. I already had a job description that required more than I had to give – and learning an entirely new language and culture was surely going to be the end of me. I was way in over my head. If I was feeling like I wasn’t enough before, now I was completely sure of it.
Trying to fit into this culture has felt like wearing a sandpaper dress that’s 10 sizes too small. I don’t fit here. Life here is too messy, the spiritual oppression is too dark and there are too many unanswered questions about how to live with integrity in the face of immense injustice. But that’s where you will find me now: in this place that takes more than it gives.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME?
Uprooted and being asked to be content in soil that was not at all like home, I discovered that I was still struggling with the same core fear of not being enough. Everything in my life had changed – location, language, culture, climate, community, spiritual climate – but the darkness in me stayed the same. I began to take a hard look back throughout my life to figure out where this bitter root came from. The realization nearly knocked me over: The only person who has ever suggested that I was not enough was…me.
It was a lie started by the enemy back in the garden when he made Eve believe that she wasn’t good enough just how God made her – she needed something more. And as a daughter of Eve I have taken the bait as well. Without realizing it, I allowed it to take root until not being enough became the core fear of my life. It reared its ugly head when I became a momma, and followed me all the way to South Asia where I finally started to see the lie for what it was.
Just like when I was a new momma, feeling lost in the dark, hard nights, I was again faced with the radical truth that the messy dark places are where the work is done. A tree can only grow if a seed is first pushed into the dirt. Rather than refuse to be pushed into the messy places, maybe I need to refuse to stay on the shelf. David once said that he refused to give his God a sacrifice that cost him nothing. Maybe it’s in the cost that the blessing comes. Maybe it’s in the dark, messy dirt that the real miracle happens.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT GOD’S CHARACTER IN THE PROCESS?
When Jesus turned the world upside down and made all the sad things untrue – God declared it ENOUGH. It was finished. Everything finds its completion in Him. Everyone hidden in Him, finds their identity in Him.
So in the end, it’s not about me being enough – It’s about resting in the fact that He is enough.
HOW DID IT IMPACT OR CLARIFY YOUR ULTIMATE MISSION?
I always thought that my calling in life was tied to a specific job – like serving cross-culturally- or to a specific place – like our new home in South Asia. But as I struggle to put down roots in this place that is not my home, I am learning to be rooted in Him. There is no other safe place. When all the dust settles and the noise grows faint – it’s just me, standing before Him. My life’s calling is to Love and Obey Him. It’s as simple and profound as that. No matter my location, my position, how I spend my days, what language I speak (or slaughter) or what I write in my newsletters – my purpose is to know Him and be known by Him. Walking out this realization has flung open the door to freedom for me!
IF YOU COULD SUM UP YOUR STORY IN ONE SENTENCE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My identity is hidden in Christ – I am enough because He is enough.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A WOMAN FACING A SIMILAR STRUGGLE?
Oh sweet one! Let’s drink some chai and cry as we learn how to rest. Rest in the fact that He is enough. What if we could be women at rest?! What if we could stop striving to be good enough and operate out of a place of sacred, life-giving REST?! Colossians tells us that our life is hidden in Christ. When He shows up again in all His Glory – You will show up too…the real you…the GLORIOUS you. So let’s look in the mirror every day and say “It’s okay Beloved…the real you is just hidden for how. The Glorious You is on its way.”
Let’s see what happens when we find that
we are enough because HE IS ENOUGH.
THANKS BETHANY! WHERE’S THE BEST PLACE FOR READERS TO FIND YOU?
Sometimes we can get online, if the internet gods are kind to us.
I am a (delinquent) therapy writer at ReedBetweenTheLines.org and once in a while blushing with honor at SimplyBloom.org.
