Paging through a family magazine almost a decade ago, I locked eyes on an ad for cute tees that celebrated marriage. The “My Husband Rocks” anthem instantly sparked my interest, and I hurried off to figure out who these people were and how I could be a part of their mission.
Flash forward several years and the woman behind the tees has become a dear friend and design client (and I finally got to fulfill a promise I made to her during a tearful conversation early on…”one day when you call to tell me you’re pregnant…I’m going to design your announcements!!“).
She’s a world-traveling, life-speaking wife and mom who has a creative entrepreneurial spirit and one of the sweetest voices I’ve ever heard.
Meet Latonya…
WHAT’S YOUR STORY, MORNING GLORY?
My husband Greg and I have been married for 13 and a half years. For almost 12 of those years, we’ve been trying to have a family.
It’s been a very emotional journey. But I’ve learned that I can choose joy and blessing even while it seems like almost everyone around me is having babies left and right with relatively little to no effort.
Two years ago, after more than 9 years of trying and waiting and then after 2 rounds of IVF, we finally knew the joy of having our first child when Aerily Giseli was born. She is our sweet, precious miracle. And we desire a second child. I feel like she is already a part of me. We have completed 4 more rounds of IVF and have received 4 negative results. I have never known such disappointment.
So this is the journey we’re on. It’s been covered in grace, but it hurts. I’m still processing, still hoping beyond hope…and forever grateful to our God who gives life and who is my Rock when circumstances seem opposite from what we desire.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME?
I’ve realized that in my heart and soul I’m a scared, bratty, spoiled little girl who wants what she wants and is tempted to sink into a teary puddle of self-pity when outward circumstances point to an undesirable outcome. But I’ve also discovered that because of God’s grace, His mercies that are new every morning, and His very spirit that lives inside of me, I can choose to stop the pity party and still live each day to the fullest, praising God and thinking of others despite my current disappointments. The reality of the truth of God’s Word and who I am in Him is greater than my physical circumstance which has made all the difference in my spiritual and emotional well-being.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT GOD’S CHARACTER IN THE PROCESS?
I’ve discovered that God loves me, deeply and personally. He has told me so many times in this process. There was one particular week when I desperately told God, “I need you to show me each day, in a very personal way, that you still know who I am, where I am, what I’m going through and that you haven’t forgotten me.” And He did. Every day that week something happened that showed me how personally he knew me and how greatly He loved me. I was not forgotten. He saw me. He still sees me.
WHAT HELPED YOU OR SERVED YOU MOST PRACTICALLY IN THIS SEASON?
Two things. One was giving grace to those around me who wanted to “comfort” me with well-meaning intentions that usually resulted in hurtful comments and unsolicited opinions. I created some healthy boundaries and didn’t talk openly about our struggles with many people, but preferred to process things privately or with Greg (my husband). I communicated my needs with family and close friends who respected my privacy but also communicated their love and support with sensitivity.
Secondly, staying busy and helping others instead of getting bogged down in my own disappointment was very helpful for me. I volunteered, I started a business that I built from nothing and sold 8 years later. Greg and I traveled a lot, we learned a new language together and how to snowboard. I recorded a worship album. We took Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University” together at church and I made lots of meals for post-baby-delivery friends.
IF YOU COULD SUM UP YOUR STORY IN ONE SENTENCE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
“The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A WOMAN FACING A SIMILAR STRUGGLE?
1. God is the giver of life. Us doing what we can do medically isn’t us playing God. It’s us telling God that we’re willing to do what we can do while trusting Him to do what only He can do.
2. You can’t compare your life to others. We’re all on a unique journey. Guard your heart and get off social media if need be. Focus on God’s Word and His blessings in your life.
3. It’s possible to be fully and sincerely happy for others who get pregnant and have babies while at the same time still feel hurt and disappointed that it isn’t you. You’re not a hypocrite or negating the reality of your situation if you rejoice with others. You’re guarding your heart from bitterness and protecting your relationships. I still say to myself – “No regrets, ok?”
4. Dealing with infertility is HARD. But life keeps going, so choose to keep living – fully!
IS THERE A FAVORITE SCRIPTURE YOU’VE CLUNG TO?
2 Chronicles 20:1-30 “Lord, we don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” Remembering to keep my eyes on Jesus and to worship with gratitude keeps me properly focused.”
2 Kings 4:1-37 & 8:1-6 “The accounts of the Widow’s oil and the Shunammite’s son are both so encouraging to me because of the faith and trust displayed by these women and the faithfulness of God.”
WHAT DOES THE WORD BRAVE MEAN TO YOU, AND WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE?
I’m not brave. And I hate having to be brave! But I do know beyond a doubt that God has given me the grace and strength and wisdom I need in order to do the things I need to do…doctor’s appointments, fly internationally with Aerily by myself, take taxis, speak Portuguese, etc.
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU ARE LOVING RIGHT NOW?
1. My stash of Hershey’s Kisses. We currently live in Brazil and they don’t have them here. Little familiarities make me feel less homesick…and the fact that it’s chocolate helps, too.
2. Maybelline (“The Rocket”) mascara…because unlike Greg and Aerily, I wasn’t blessed with long, luscious lashes.
3. Andrew Wommack Ministries: his Truth-filled Audio Teachings
THANKS LT! WHERE’S THE BEST PLACE FOR READERS TO FIND YOU?
You can reach me through email: 4sureand4certain@gmail.com
