In a day and age where comparison and competition can drive us to isolate and hoard, there’s something incredibly refreshing about someone who uses their gifts and passions to stir up the gifts and passions in others. Someone who faithfully serves and encourages and equips others with the very tools they’re using in their own field.
Between her servant-hearted leadership, her passion for the written word, and that light-up-the-room smile…this one is a sweet treasure!
Meet Jolene…
WHAT’S YOUR STORY, MORNING GLORY?
I’ve been a single mom, step-mom, bio mom, foster mom, mom to two babies lost in miscarriage, and mom to another teen who lived with us for eight months. In 2012 we had up to twelve children in our home and today we’re down to two teens who attend a local charter school.
After years of homeschooling and running various ministries, including a non-profit library, I eventually collapsed. Today, I am in a new season of writing and living with more peace, joy, and freedom than ever before.
This season has been one of healing and growth and it will continue.
You see, most of my life has been clouded with doubts and lies about who I was and who I should be. From the time I was young, I desired to follow God and live the best life I could, but I struggled to live with the best God had for me. I thought I had to make it happen on my own, even to the extent of thinking I was somehow protecting God rather than him protecting me. It would take an awful lot of painful trials to learn how to live well with a surrendered life, and I’m still learning.
As a result of the lies I believed, I lived captive to the thoughts, opinions, and actions of others. I let them take precedence over my own needs to devastating degrees. Over the years I’ve experienced depression, anxiety, disordered eating, self-harm, sexual harassments, two date rapes (one resulting in pregnancy), and eventually signs of PTSD.
My fears kept me bound and it took my collapse in 2013 to begin an intentional journey of healing. In this process I learned several beliefs I had which opposed the truths of who God is and who he says I am. God reminded me of his truths over and over and helped me walk through what was necessary for me to know them deeply. In addition, I experienced God’s presence in powerful times of reflection, prayer, and processing.
Today, I believe all Christ followers can experience more peace, joy, and freedom than we know now, because there is always more to know about God. I believe in the power of God to revive our weary souls. I also believe we can go from surviving to thriving no matter what our circumstances are.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME?
One of those pesky lies ingrained in me was that what I had to say didn’t matter. I also believed that everybody else was more likely to be right than me, so I would either not speak up or quickly back down, fraught with discouragement. I’d feel defeat often because I had so much I wanted to say and it felt like no one wanted to hear it. This caused me to second-guess myself a lot.
I learned that not only did I needed to value myself and what God wanted me to say, but there was great value in the words of others. I still see many of us who are weighted down with lies, just like me.
The enemy wants to keep us ineffective for the kingdom, but I’ve learned God has given us what we need to fight the enemy and press on anyway.
I also learned that even though God was calling me to walk through hard things in order to heal, it wasn’t about doing it on my own strength. I’m still learning how to live by the leading of the Holy Spirit even when my flesh wants me to bail out.
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER ABOUT GOD’S CHARACTER IN THE PROCESS?
Since I thought I was somehow protecting God, I had a hard time seeing him loving me enough to protect me. Or, that He really does love in everlasting, steadfast ways.
I learned that God is my protector, but not always in the way I want Him to be. Sometimes he protects in ways we don’t see, know, or understand.
I also discovered that God is far more good and powerful than any of us could ever imagine, and that’s reason enough to keep on believing when everything around you tries to tell you otherwise. He’s had to remind of these truths over and over again.
WHAT HELPED YOU OR SERVED YOU MOST PRACTICALLY IN THIS SEASON?
Writing has been the means for me to work out my pain, my thoughts, and my feelings. It’s also helped me in the way I relate to God and how I can hear from him. I write many words which will never be shared with others, and some which are.
I also read the Bible often and many books on emotional health, soul care, spiritual growth, and healing. They help me grow, learn, and heal.
Finally, community. Without my safe friends who listen, provide care, and share nuggets of wisdom, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
IF YOU COULD SUM UP YOUR STORY IN ONE SENTENCE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
When waves of trials have come, God’s grace not only saved me but taught me to live well so I could learn to live well.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A WOMAN FACING A SIMILAR STRUGGLE?
When the storm seems the strongest, God is still the biggest. He has not left you. He will not forsake you or your needs. Remember, dear one, His love for you is vast beyond measure and He has what you need to not only survive this tough time, but thrive in the core of you are.
Let Him lead you through, and see just what you might be able to do.
IS THERE A FAVORITE SCRIPTURE YOU’VE CLUNG TO?
“Thus says the Lord: “The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:2-3
WHAT DOES THE WORD RESILIENCE MEAN TO YOU, AND WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IN EVERYDAY LIFE?
Resilience feels like living as a Weeble Wobble. Does anyone remember those? “Weebles wobble, but they won’t fall down.” The truth is, I’ve fallen down a lot, but because of God working in me I keep getting back up. He is the only reason this weeble wobbles.
I still experience a lot of hard days and I have trauma I am still working through, so I might fight despair and tears at times with heavy prayer, turning on loud worship music, listening to the Bible, or calling a friend. As I am reminded of God’s goodness, and given a glimpse of it here on earth, I find I’m able to get up again and continue persevering.
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU ARE LOVING RIGHT NOW?
A Christian counseling podcast by New Life Ministries and my collection of pens and ecosystem journals. The journals are no longer produced and I scrambled to pick up a few on clearance sales before they were gone!
THANKS JOLENE! WHERE’S THE BEST PLACE FOR READERS TO FIND YOU?
I write regularly on my blog at joleneunderwood.com. I also contribute to Grace Table, (coming soon), the Well Studio, and iBelieve.
You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram with the profile @theJoleneU.
Finally, if you too are a writer/speaker/author/word user of some kind and you wrestle with the tension of gaining followers as a follower of Christ, join the Rise Up Writers Facebook Community & Newsletter. We’d love to have you!
