We’ve read lots of excellent parenting books over the years, but nothing has shifted our paradigms quite like Danny Silk’s Loving Our Kids On Purpose.
It rocked our parenting world.
It’s like Shepherding A Child’s Heart meets Parenting with Love and Logic, edited by Erma Bombeck. It’s brilliant and simple and biblical and fun.
And it just.makes.sense, which…when you’re a frazzled, battle-worn, sleep-deprived parent…is where it’s at, sista. You want to see results, and you want to see them now. Thankyouverymuch.
We’ve had several epiphanies regarding our roles as parents while going through this series.
For instance, the way in which we parent our children (establish our authority, dish out punishment, wrangle power management, and allow them to experience consequences, etc.) will lay the foundation for how they will one day relate to their heavenly Father. We are building their basic God-image in the way we raise them and relate to them. Like woah. I can hinder that relationship…or help it. So I better parent them in a way that more accurately represents the way He parents us (with unconditional love and extraordinary grace).
We also love the way Danny deals with the fact that we need to manage ourselves first. We cannot control anybody but ourselves, but in our endless struggle for power and control, we lose ours…while attempting to steal theirs. Which inevitably brings out the worst in them – because they were born to feel powerful, and we’re making them feel powerless – then the crazy cycle begins. And it just gets ugly from here. IfyouknowwhatImean.
The reality is…our kids were created to be free and to feel powerful. We, as their parents, need to teach them how to manage that freedom, and how to use their power wisely. Not usurp and squelch it.
I wrote a whole, long, beefy blog post about a lot of it right here: Because Parenting Isn’t For Sissies, Part 2, if you’d like a snapshot peek into the heart of what we love about this parenting ‘lifestyle’.
Apart from the fact that Danny is an absolutely hilarious speaker – you’re sure to laugh out loud numerous times – the truths he lays down in this series will transform the way in which you parent, and the way you see yourself as a parent.
He provides you with tools that will…
• protect your connection with your children (rules without relationship create rebellion)
• teach your children to manage increasing levels of freedom
• replace the old tools of intimidation and control (perfect love casts out fear in the same way fear casts out love)
• create a safe place for your children to build confidence and personal responsibility
• help equip you with a language of empowerment in dealing with your children’s (many) mistakes
We love the phrases he uses so much (many are Love & Logic inspired), that I decided to make this week’s free printable a cheat-sheet of sorts. Whenever we go through the book or series, we use these a lot and love the results (they help us maintain control of ourselves…while helping our kids take responsibility for themselves)…but then we slowly forget and revert back to our old, unempowered ways.
We literally forget how to speak like smart parents.
So, without further ado…10 of our favorite phases (that you’ll most likely not fully understand unless you’ve read the book)…for all those who are big fans of this parenting style and have attention spans as short as our own…to stick to your mirror, kitchen-sink window, steering wheel and forehead.
Grab your set of 4 cheat-sheet prints right here.
You can buy just the book on Amazon, but having watched the DVD series half a dozen times now (partly because we’ve lead it that many times…and partly because we’re relatively dense slow learners and need refreshers every now and again), I’d strongly suggest the series. It’s well worth the investment (and this is not a paid advertisement).
Speaking of powerful parenting printables…if you missed the 10 Mindset Goals for Moms printable, inspired by the wisdom of the lovely Rachel over at Finding Joy, download and print that oldie-but-goodie by clicking right here.
I wrote a 2 part series called “Because Parenting Isn’t For Sissies” that’s sure to make you feel less alone in your crazy. Part 1 is here, and you’ll find Part 2 over here.
And of course you’ll find that good ol’ hot mess of a blog post intended to lift your chin when you’re feeling like a parental train wreck, right here.
Until we “arrive”… parent on, brave one. Parent on.
Love well. Laugh often. Drink your coffee. Cling to Jesus.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Onward, ho!
*As always, please note that these printables are exclusively for personal use and are NOT to be reprinted for resale purposes. Feel free to share the link, pin it, or head over to Facebook and visit Simply Bloom.
