Marriage was God’s idea. And we’re thankful for that. Why? Because when it’s His concept…it always comes equipped with the tools needed to succeed. We even got a manual! We just have to be willing to dig our heals in and work at it, being sensitive to where God is leading us, and sticking to our spouse like Gorilla Glue.
Things we’re learning along the way…
We really are so very different.
- And it’s all good! God made us that way.
- Respect is like oxygen to men. It’s their language, if you will. Learn to speak it.
- Likewise, love is like oxygen to women. It’s our language of love. Learn to speak it.
- Ephesians 5:22-28 talks about how we are commanded to do this. Love comes naturally to women, respect to men. That’s why we are instructed to do the other…respect our husbands, love our wives. This comes less naturally to us, but is vital to the health of our marriage.
- Learn to use the phrase…”it’s not wrong…it’s just different”.
Marriage was never intended to make us happy, but rather holy.
- God brilliantly created our spouses to be one of the most powerful and effective {and at times, painful} tools He uses to chip away what doesn’t reflect Him in our lives.
- In the book ‘Love & War’ {by John & Staci Eldredge}, Johns says, “marriage is a perfect storm because your brokenness and sin collide in devastating precision with your spouse’s. Yet God is in that, because He is using your marriage to transform you.”
- “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17
- If you haven’t already noticed…our kids happen to be sharp, pointy tools too.
Your spouse is not your enemy.
- While there is most definitely a battle raging, the war is not with our husbands/wives, but with the enemy of our souls. When we view our spouses as our enemies and fight against them, rather than alongside them, we end up doing satan’s work for him. What God so stunningly created, satan works diligently to destroy. Refuse to be a tool in his destructive claw.
- “Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour” 1 Peter 5:8
Our spouse was never designed to meet all our needs.
- When we expect our husband or wife to make us happy or establish our value in this world, we are setting our marriages up for failure. This is too hefty of a weight for any human to carry. When we put this type of pressure on our spouse, we guarantee our disappointed and their frustration.
- When doing this, we negate the fact that our identity and value is found in Christ alone. He is the sole source of our heart’s satisfaction.
- While our spouse should ideally validate and nourish our identity and value in Christ, they were never designed to bear that burden alone.
You can’t change your spouse.
- So stop trying. It simply frustrates you, not to mention them
